So I didn’t realise that my blog was linked to my Facebook, and a few people messaged and wished me well after my last entry. I’ve disconnected WordPress and Facebook now so that I can control what I share there for the time being. Not because I don’t appreciate it, quite the opposite, in fact. It’s because I am touched by how many people contacted me and as I’m feeling a little low at the moment, it sort-of makes it worse…You see, I *know* there is no identifiable reason for me to feel like this, but I can’t help it. My son is perfect, my husband is amazing, the house is being renovated, we have very little money worries (small credit card bill, but nothing huge and scary), but I have been low. I have a lump in my chest and feel like a failure. Having people message me and tell me that they care and that they are my friend just makes me feel even more pathetic for feeling this way.
Right now, aside from writing this blog, I’m on Pinterest looking for ideas for coat storage. I see stuff I like and instead of my usual excitement, I just feel ‘meh’ and want to crawl under the covers.
Hubby has been extra sweet and doing anything he can to cheer me up, so naturally I feel worse because I can’t cheer up. Never have I felt this way. It is just awful.
I don’t believe it’s situational, I’m thinking it could be hormonal. I’ve reduced breastfeeding down to one a day and ‘comfort’, and this month I’ve had 2 periods almost back to back (just a week of no bleeding in the middle), so maybe that has something to do with it? Whatever this is, it can just do one.