Bibbity Bobbity Boop

So yet again I’ve abandoned my blog for months. I’ve not really had the time to sit here and write, and the times when I have had a free thirty minutes or so, I’ve ended up doing housework or DIY or Grimbold admin.

It’s been thoroughly exhausting if I’m honest. I’m someone who thrives on being busy and enjoy working hard on a project (or projects!), but Logan is a baby who likes to sleep a maximum of 3 or so hours in a row. Oh how I cringe at smug Sammy who crowed about how he would sleep for 4 hours at a time when newborn. Those were the days… Since he was 8 weeks old I’ve had terrible sleep. He’s such a light sleeper and hates to drop off. We’ve recently invested in a blackout blind and a slight change of bedtime routine. It *seems* to be working and he’s sleeping for longer, but I don’t want to jinx it! I guess he’ll learn to settle when he’s ready.

I think the lack of sleep has played havoc with my health and immune system. I’ve caught colds and coughs galore from my petri dish of a child (who in turn catches everything from nursery) and, sorry if TMI, but I have verrucas! I mean, what??? I had verrucas a few years back but they are back again! Eurgh!

I’m also suffering with my autoimmune conditions at the moment; my thyroid is all over the place, my skin conditions are flaring up, my VVS is back and I’m re-referred to the specialist and my joints are swollen in my fingers. I am falling apart!

I had my MRI (finally!) in May and my brain is fine but there was still this mass behind my right eye. It’s grown since my CT scan last year and this week I saw the eye surgeon. It is a cavernous hemangioma (benign tumour) that is pressing on my optic nerve and will be monitored with scans. When it gets too big they’ll operate and remove it. I’ve had a lot of people express shock and concern, and I’ve found it a bit bemusing. I think it’s because I’m so used to having things wrong with me I just don’t get phased any more. If I was to sit down and think about it, I probably would get a bit down, and potentially genuinely depressed, but I don’t want to think about it for that very reason! I’m here, I’m walking, talking and able to go about my daily routine and life without any real restrictions. Regardless of what’s going on with my immune system and Ted (the tedious tumour), I’d say that’s pretty damn good going.

I say this all because the news this week has been shockingly dreadful. 49 innocent lives lost in Orlando in one of the worst hate crimes ever. I just…I can’t eloquently put in to words how it makes me feel. I have many LGBTQA friends and like so many of my CIS friends, I support the LGBTQA community with every ounce of my being. It is painful to think and read about without genuine upset. No one should be persecuted because of who they love. It makes no sense. At all.

Today, an MP was brutally murdered. The full facts aren’t yet known, but what is known is that she was shot in the head, stabbed and then kicked when bleeding to death on the ground. She was known to be compassionate, loving and kind. Another senseless death that makes no sense. At all.

Cancer took a good friend’s father today. I have nothing to say other than fuck you, Cancer. Fuck you. I may be a writer, but I have no eloquence for you. We will beat you one day. I have no doubt of that.

 

 

 

‘She Shares WHAT?!’

I realise that I share a lot of personal information on this blog, and that it’s quite easy to track me down and find me in ‘real life’ (and not just the social media world). This is perhaps a massive boo-boo on my part. I should, after all, be more savvy about security and so on…but the purpose of this blog was not only to offload some ramblings in my head, but to make people aware of often unspoken medical conditions. It is still classed as a bit of a social taboo to discuss your sex life, issues surrounding your vagina or penis, and your sexual health in general; quite often people keep quiet and suffer for years and years without seeking help or talking to someone about it. I’ve been there, and it took me so long to get help that I’ve genuinely forgotten how many years: 7? 8? I don’t know. I grew up in a house where menstration was never discussed, sex was a no-no, physical affection was null and void, and my parents displayed a ‘holier than thou’ persona (completely hypocritically I should add). It was stifing and crippling, and it left me unable to verbalise my issues for many, many years. I credit my husband with teaching me how to open up. He had the patience and understanding to realise that I wasn’t a cold, stone-hearted cow – quite the opposite…but I was too afraid to show him my emotions/thoughts/feelings, because for years they had been viewed as weaknesses.
Stop crying, you fucking baby.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Grow up.

When I first started sharing my posts about vaginismus, LS, and VVS, I did so with a medical disclaimer. I didn’t want to offend anyone or have them think I was ‘disgusting’. With hindsight, I don’t know why I did this; there’s nothing ‘disgusting’ with sharing information, procedures, symptoms and ways to get help. I didn’t ask for these conditions,  and so why should I be ashamed? My posts came in fits and starts. 2/3 a month and then nothing for months – I didn’t want to bombard people, or have them think I was playing the victim. I was so paranoid with being viewed as a drama queen that I kept my cancer secret – even from my husband – until I received the news that it was treatable. It was so paradoxical to my nature to be quiet that I was lost. Family and friends mean the world to me. I felt like a liar and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again.

Over the next few months I’ll be sharing a lot more information on these subjects (along with my IVF journey and usual ramblings). I do so because it helps. It helps me, and given the messages and emails I’ve received both publically and privately, I know that it has helped other people get the help and treatment they deserve. I’ve been asked today by someone: ‘but why do you want people to know?’ and that’s a good question. For all the reasons above. Infertility is painful and historically, it’s private and spoken about in hushed tones. There are support networks out there and the internet is a fabulous place for connecting with people who are going through the same trials as you. If I make one friend from these blog posts who feels they can talk to me about their problems – then that’s mission accomplished**.
If the treatment isn’t sucessful, then I’m not going to be blame my talking about it. I’m not superstitious and I’d rather have the support of friends and family if I’m grieving than to do so in private.

Sure I waffle, sure I add in what appears to be inconsequential crap and I make a joke of some of the procedures I’ve had done, who wouldn’t? Humour helps me heal and helps me deflect. I’ve been the butt of jokes, had nicknames and received a Secret Santa gift consisting of a needle and thread and called a ‘fanny repair kit’…and all you can do sometimes is go with the flow, because to sit back and take it all in can be overwhelming, cruel, and deeply upsetting.

I suffer with anxiety, and I even as I write this I’m strangely torn: to write this blog post highlights yet again me and my problems, and I know it would be so much simpler to just stay quiet and wade on with the stiff British upper lip. That isn’t me though. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love to help and share.

** today I’ve been told in confidence of a friend going through IVF too, I have them in my thoughts and hope it all goes well.

Sharing and talking might not be your ‘cup of tea’, and you may disagree with it, but it works for me.

 

judgement

And…We’re Off!

thumbs upWow. Thank you so much everyone. I’m genuinely a little overwhelmed with the amount of goodwill and luck we’ve received since my post yesterday. Today was exceptionally emotional for me when I checked my Paypal and not only saw such a generous donation from a good friend (who needs throttling for his stubborness in refusing to accept it back), but the generosity of friends who I know don’t have much themselves and friends that I haven’t spoken to properly in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously, 100x over and over.

We (people in general) take having a baby for granted, and we never really consider that there might be fertility problems along the way. It definitely came as a shock to us (especially given everything else we’ve had thrown at us) and it’s still overwhelming. I know that we can’t, and shouldn’t, pin all our hopes on one cycle. However, now’s the time to think positive and move forward. Me hanging around and procrastinating doesn’t help anyone.

Time to get this lardy bum moving and burn some fat!

This week, I’m reducing down the amount of refined sugar and caffeine in my diet – so no complex carbs and chocolate (sob) and my 50-cup-a-day habit will be whittled down to 3 or 4 and a balanced 1200 calories a day. I’ve re-started my Pregnacare vitamins (folic acid, baby!) and as the doctor suggested, increased my thyroxine 25%. Hopefully, I’ll look to get some Nescafe decaf tonight too…

Tomorrow/Friday I will order 2 weeks of Actidiet which should arrive in time for Monday. Honestly, I can’t wait to get back on it!

swimming-83676_640Oh, I’m toying with the idea of swimming again in the mornings. Last summer, every ‘work’ morning I swam before heading into the office. I’m not a good swimmer, more of a doggy paddler, but it was fun to do 20/30 lengths and feel refreshed. Problem is, Actidiet shakes are best with crushed ice and I don’t have a blender or freezer in the office, so that means making one up and drinking before swimming – probably not the best idea! I’ll have a think so and see what I can do to make it work.

…Maybe I can convince the bosses to buy aforementioned freezer and blender…hmm…

mfp

 

Remember: My food diary etc is on www.myfitnesspal.com and I can be found as SammyHKSmith

 

 I’ve added a widget to the side bar too!

Here’s What The Fertility Clinic Had To Say…

Living in Oxfordshire, we’re lucky enough to have the John Radcliffe teaching hospital on our doorstep. The John Radcliffe has an excellent worldwide reputation in practically all areas of medicine, and today I visited the Oxford Fertility Unit (OFU) with my husband.

If you didn’t already know, we’ve not had much luck conceiving (I’m the oldest of 9 children and I love kids. Everyone who knows me, knows that babies, toddlers, children and even teenagers make me feel all mushy and mumsy). Over the last three years I’ve had cancer, vaginismus, VVS and then been diagnosed with PCOS. Oh, and don’t forget to add this to my fibromyalgia and underactive thyroid. It’s not been good. It’s been draining and emotionally hard. To top it off my husband also has some problems and so after a long wait, we were finally referred to the OFU.

 

Today, I’ve been told that we qualify for ONE cycle of IVF on the NHS. Honestly, I can’t express how excited, nervous, shocked, anxious and worried I am. I’m so grateful to get this opportunity but I know that if it fails, then we have to find the money to privately fund subsequent cycles and at £3300 a cycle – it’s not cheap.

The OFU has the highest success rates in the country: approximately 50%. A flip of a coin…let that sink in. Our chance of a baby could fall on heads or tails. That’s quite scary.flippingCoin

The doctor was lovely. She’s pre-signed all our forms and has told us to submit them when we’re ready. There is no waiting list apparently, and the entire course takes between 6-8weeks. I will have epipen style injections to take every day, eggs removed, fertilised and then incubated before being popped in to see if my body will accept them.

With this in mind, I want to give this one shot the best possible chance of succeeding. I don’t want to regret rushing in if the treatment fails and be thinking, ‘if only I was thinner. If only I wasn’t so tired. If only I wasn’t so unhealthy’, and so I’ve decided that before I go any further, I need to lose weight. My BMI currently has me at 31. This makes me obese and I don’t want to be obese any more. I would like to lose between 20-28lb before I start treatment and fall within the normal/overweight category.

I discussed this with the doctor today, and she agrees that with my underactive thyroid losing weight traditionally is exceptionally hard. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE. IT IS A MEDICAL FACT. My metabolism runs a lot slower than the average person and so I eat less than an average person to compensate. She has suggested that we increase my thyroxine for starters and for me to go on a diet that works for me. She is as keen as we are to make sure that our ONE funded chance is a success.

The diet that works for me is Actidiet.

If you don’t know much about it, it’s very similar to Lighter Life/ Cambridge Diet, but instead of just shakes and liquid food, you eat real meals. It’s low carb and high protein and works on the basis of a ketogenic diet. Last summer I lost 20lb and I’ve only put 5lb of that back on**. I had to stop due to the cost which is around £40 a week (£160 a month). Now, at the moment I spend £100 a month to feed BOTH of us and I don’t think I can afford Actidiet on top of normal food.

how_you_can_helpHowever I am going to try and order enough for 2/3 weeks and help kickstart this weight loss, and that’s where the Paypal donate button comes in on the right hand side of my website. If you could spare £1,£2, whatever to help me get a foot on the weight loss ladder, I would be eternally grateful. I’m going to be sharing every painful step with you all, and documenting my weight loss and measurements as I go. You’ve all been so supportive so far that I feel I owe it to you all!

I know some of you will think it’s easy: eat less, exercise more, but when you have my health problems and metabolic issues, I promise you that it’s not that simple. There’s a lot more at work and to dismiss my protestations would just be ignorant. I WANT to be healthier and I WANT to weigh less. Please consider helping. If I wasn’t desperate, I wouldn’t ask.

Without Actidiet, it takes me a month to lose 1-2lb. That means that (being optimistic) it would take 10 months before I can lose this weight on my own, possibly longer. Our referral is valid for 6 months and if we don’t start the treatment in 6 months then we have to be re-referred and start the process all over again. Being 31, I don’t want to leave it too long.

 

Current Stats: 178lb

Goal Weight: 150lb

(I will add a widget to the page when I get a chance).

I’ll also be using MyFitnessPal (user ID: SammyHKSmith) to document exercise/calorie intake when not actidieting etc

Before writing this blog post, a thought popped into my head: if I can’t afford Actidiet, can I afford a baby? The answer of course will be yes. This year we’re financially catching up following the mess of last year (new boiler, new car, business acquisitions and then my husband moving jobs and being unemployed briefly). While no-one can predict the future, I’m pretty confident we’ll be more settled in a few months.

I’m not a proud person. I’m very much ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’. So, in advance, I do thank you all and I PROMISE to keep you updated!

**The weight loss last year was to help with conception. I have been trying hard, and will continue to push forward.

 

Lots To Report.

DISCLAIMER:

If you are squeamish or a prude, don’t read. I’m writing about anatomy, problems and feelings at the moment. I know this is fuel to some of the nosy ones out there – but don’t complain to me if you’re shocked or can’t look at me in the eyes when we next see each other! You have been warned.

***

Ok, it’s been a while since I posted about the medical side of things. I guess that’s because it’s been a busy few months. I’ve been to hospital five … six … possibly even seven times in the last 10 weeks – and that’s on top of normal appointments.

Well, it’s 9 days since I had my operation. Mr Kehoe at the JR/Churchill Hospital is amazing. I can’t thank him enough, you see, I FINALLY got referred to the dermatology clinic at the hospital and saw Dr Cooper. It was only a year after I was originally meant to go … anyway. Dr Cooper could clearly see something was wrong (other than the cancer) and referred me to Mr Kehoe.

I had a thirty minute appointment with him and the start of October(and a medical student) and I described all the problems I’ve had since I started having sex (over a decade ago!). He performed something called the Q-tip test and diagnosed me with vulval vestibulitis. OMG, was I relieved! You see, I had been suffering for years. All my symptoms are listed in other posts – but basically, I’ve never had pain free sex. There’s always been a caveat: great sex followed by intense pain, painful sex, dry, tears and tears .. basically, just plain horrible.

Mr Kehoe booked me in for surgery there and then. 20th October. A Saturday. He’s leaving the Oxford area and wanted to fit me in before he leaves.

Surgery day.

Arrived nice and early with an empty tummy and a dry mouth. Met with Mr Kehoe and the other  docs. He explained that vulval vestibulitis (VVS) is basically hypersensitive nerve endings, and to ‘cure’ the problem – they cut the nerve endings away.
Because I have LS – they had to modify the surgery and cut away more skin, but he explained everything slowly and with care. The perfect doctor in my opinion.

The usual followed. General anaesthetic, sleepy bye-byes, slow wake up, freezing cold and lots of blankets, low blood pressure, back to the ward and LOTS OF PAIN!
Jeez … the pain was bad. I had some nice morphine though – so all good.
Overall, I had 28 stitches, and 6 of those were “deep” ones (Mr Kehoe’s words).

Now, the nurses wanted me to sleep for a couple of hours – but I really couldn’t. How do you sleep when you’re in pain? It’s impossible! So instead I called John and got him to come and see me, and then went for a wee (argghhhh eurrrghhhh pain … nuff said) and changed into my jim-jams.
After several hours I was discharged with a bag of medicine.

Several more hours later – just gone midnight in fact – I was back at the Horton hospital. The discharge nurses had forgotten to give me a particularly strong painkiller that Mr Kehoe had prescribed and so I needed to see the out-of-hours doctor. For once, things went smoothly and I was given a nice big pack of tramadol. Hurrah. I could finally sleep!

Over the next few days I kept myself drugged up and comfortable. I overdid it though (typical me) and walked far too much causing a load of unnecessary pain.
I thought I was over the worst – but it’s got really bad again. Yes, I know, I’m being wimpy, but seriously – it’s like I’m peeing glass. It stings like a bitch and the stitches are SO SORE! Still having to use ice packs.
Earliest doctor’s appointment I could get? A week today. Booked though – just in case!

So … overall …

I’m really pleased that I had the surgery. I’m so anxious and excited to see what it does. I know the recovery time is several months and there’s a load more hoops to jump through before John can take my new vagina for a test drive (I’m really sorry for that mental image!), however … it’s soon to be a possibility!! If it all goes well then we can finally start to think about children … scary!

 

Also – after all these stitches and all this pain – I think I can safely say I can handle pain from childbirth.
I’ll post again soon …

and I’ll cover seeing friends, movies, writing, reading, Kristell Ink, pets, and a host of other (more interesting) things.

Ciao!

 

Two months … FAIL!

Yes, I’ve failed big time. It’s been two months since I last posted on my blog. I’m really sorry …

I’m going to make more of an effort from now on. In my defence – it has been a very busy two months, both personally and professionally.

My paid work (police) has been hectic, and my writing work even more so. I’ve embarked on a new business venture and the last month has involved getting the groundwork for that sorted. More to come on that!!!

In my personal life, I found out that I had cancer. I admit, when I was first told I was so shocked I was numb. I’ve been under a specialist for a while for an intimate problem an so I’m used to bad news … but this time I didn’t even know the big C was on the cards.

However, I’ve been very lucky. It was stage 1 and has been cut away. When they investigated further, due to the depth and size, no radiation therapy was needed – and instead I’ll be having 3-monthly checks for 2 years. It’s made me realise that I was incredibly lucky. You see, they only found the cancer because a biopsy was taken from the wrong place. It failed to diagnose the original condition- and instead they found cancer. Shit.

I haven’t really spoken about it to many people: those that know me know that I always put a smiling face on things and try and brush them under the carpet -when really,I’m terrified. This is no different. I don’t like the false sympathy that comes from some people – nor do I like the ‘I’m so sorry’ comments, they make me uncomfortable and I always think about those who are in worse situations.

So that’s enough on that subject.

Health related, I’m seeing another specialist on Monday. This time, it’s a pre-op with a surgeon. I’ve been told I need something called a ‘vestibulectomy’ and that involves 30 stitches in an intimate area. 30!!! Holy Moly! My eyes are watering just thinking about it. Still, I have no doubt it’ll be worth it in the end!

 

Writing … well, with everything that’s been going on in the last few months – writing hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind. I’ve been pootling around with a few ideas.

 

Monday just gone though … I had a meeting with a literary agent, and …. it went well. VERY WELL. I’m making edits on ‘Anna’ and then the sky is the limit! This agent completely understands my book and the themes/threads I’ve introduced. She spoke of the big publishers such as Virago, HC, Bloomsbury – so here’s hoping!

 

On that note – I’m signing off. I’ll get more posts on here soon … promise!

 

 

 

 

3 Weeks Done On The Drugs, This Is The Week Off … Eurgh.

I am optimistic with these new drugs, my obvious PCOS symptoms are slowly starting to clear up (excess hair growth slowing and minor acne) but I’ve been suffering with horrendous headaches.

I never used to really get headaches, once in a blue moon and usually down to the fact I was dehydrated as I never drink enough …

Recently however, I’ve been getting one every day and in some cases they last two or three days. They started just a week after taking the tablets so I’m hoping that it’s all hormonal and as my body gets used to the drug they will dissipate, else it’s a trip to the docs to see if they will swap the meds.

Ok, the following bit might be a bit “TMI” so read if you aren’t squeamish …. I really forgot how painful periods are … This week is my “withdrawal” bleed and am I suffering or what! Oh boy, it’s horrible … Someone has a knife in my uterus and is slicing around aimlessly whilst kicking me. I feel very sorry for myself today.

This is only a short little post, mostly so that I can moan. Sorry everyone!!!

Roundup Of The Last Week

So then, I’ve been on the tablets now for just over a week. For the first few days I didn’t notice any side effects, but about four days ago I woke up to incredibly sore boobs. I could barely touch them and the soreness has continued right through to today. I also can’t fit into any of my bras properly so I think they are a bit swollen, hormonal obviously but sheeeesshhh! I’m already an 34 E/F cup (depending on cut) … I don’t want them to get any bigger!!!

Last couple of days I’ve been quite ill as well, really bad nausea and I’ve hardly been able to eat. Again, I think it’s related but I can’t be sure.

In the last 48 hours I’ve had … a mcflurry, a flake, an alpen bar and 5 prawns … I tried to have some mcdonald’s fries but had to give them away and I couldn’t manage any toast either … Chewing just takes up too much effort.

Doesn’t help I have a sore jaw as well! GRRRR

Oh, and to top it off – back to work tomorrow for 7 days in a row!!

I’ve been able to do quite a bit of work on my story this week, not so much writing but more editing based and tying up loose ends, as well as adding in a few twists and turns. I’m happy with it so far and have about 20k to write, and then the major re-write and edit.

So that’s it, my week in a nutshell … Fantasy world building, sore boobs and prawns.

PCOS, Dianette & A Discussion on Babies ….

Glug, glug, glug and glug … I forced 2 pints of orange squash down my throat at 2pm today, this is more than I normally drink in a whole day and I felt sick.
My lack of drinking revolves around the fact I have the smallest bladder known in the entire existence!
My friends will back me up when I tell you that I cannot even finish a cup of tea, I only ever drink half a cup and that’s usually because my bladder starts wailing at me.
After the first pint I really thought I would throw up all over the place, I started to swallow the second by sucking it through my teeth and breathing deeply, but I managed and felt incredibly pleased with myself.
This euphoria was short lived, as soon as  I left the house and got into the car the little tingling of lady bits alerted me to the fact I needed a wee.
I quietly reassured my bladder that it would be emptied in a little over twenty minutes, not to worry lil guy. Everything will be fine.
90 minutes later ….
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME SAM??? EMPTY ME YOU BITCH, EMPTY ME OR I’LL LET GO AND YOU’LL PISS YOURSELF IN THIS FUCKING WAITING ROOM IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PREGNANT WOMEN”
The abuse from my bladder continued, it ranted and raved and decided to change the little tingling to a sharp stabbing and squeezing.
In typical NHS fashion – they were running late and I sat there in pain, cursing the NHS and wishing I could afford private medical care.
I couldn’t take it any longer and waddled into the toilet, as I sat down and closed my eyes in relief, the inevitable happened …
“Miss Davies, Miss Samantha Davies?” (NHS still have my maiden name)
I grimaced and shut my bladder off – it responded sullenly with a sharp twang.
“YES” I call from the toilet – que the tittering and laughing of those waiting, but there was no way I was giving up my spot and having the sonographer thinking I wasn’t there!
Hurridly I pulled my jeans up, washed my hands and emerged – flying low and zipping myself up in front of about twenty people. I am a classy lady.
The scan itself was pretty boring, jelly on stomach and the machine rolling around my stomach and top of groin fat. My bladder continued to abuse me, “MOTHER FUCKING BITCH, FUCKING LET ME GOOOOOOO” it wasn’t happy at the earlier teasing in the loo.
I asked the sonographer if my ovaries were normal and she cryptically replied with “I’ve got good clear pictures” – diplomatic, but I knew then that they weren’t.
Finally I could do to the toilet, it was truly a heavenly moment. I heard the sweet rapturous tunes of the angels as I let go and as I finished my bladder made peace “YOU KNOW WE’RE FRIENDS RIGHT? I DIDN’T MEAN THOSE THINGS, I LOVE YOU.”
“I love you too my hamster sized organ” I replied gently.
After a further twenty minutes the sonographer came out with a brown taped up envelope “your report. you’ve got an appointment at outpatients, make your way over now.”
I was sorely tempted to open it and read on the way over but I decided against it. I only had to wait a short while and I’d know what it said. I think subconsciously I didn’t want to read the results as I knew they wouldn’t be good. I don’t have much luck in the lady health department.
So I arrived in outpatients and luckily didn’t have to wait too long, I spoke to Mr Akrong who opened the report and confirmed I have PCOS. It was nice that he reassured me and said that 22% of the female population in the UK have this condition.
He then lost his brownie points by adding “but your’s is very bad, your right ovary is double the size it should be. You have a severe amount of follicles.”
He asked if I planned to have a baby, and I answered honestly – Yes, my husband and I want to have children in about 3 years.
He looks up and says “No, at 28, happily married and with PCOS like this, you will not be waiting 3 years.”
Thank you Mr Akrong, thank you for deciding on when my husband and I will change our lives forever by adding a baby into our family, I couldn’t have made that decision without your input. I didn’t realise that as a gynecologist you also had an insight into the personal and financial situation of all your patients.
I know this sounds a little churlish and ungrateful, but John and I have chosen 3 years for a reason, we both have financial responsibilities we would like to discharge. I would like to start and complete my OU course, along with my writing and to be honest, we are both too selfish to be parents right about now. I enjoy my lay ins, I enjoy my lazy days and days watching bad tv with the cats and dogs for company …
Eventually we came to compromise, I will see Mr Akrong in 12 months time to discuss trying for a baby and fertility issues, the PCOS paired with the endometriosis means that he doesn’t think I will conceive naturally and will need help in one way or another. I know it may take longer than 2 years, but it really isn’t something I’m ready to budge on just yet – If it is meant to be, it will happen. Karma and all that …
I’ve been prescribed Dianette (contraceptive pill) – this will hopefully help with the acne and excess body hair (I look like the bearded lady sometimes – The Wolfman has nothing on me!) It will also hopefully give me some bleeds. I’ve heard both good and bad things about this drug but we shall see.
He wants me to try it for 3 months and go from there, we discussed the other issues I have (see older posts) and he thinks that the Dianette should clear those problems up … Obviously I won’t be growing my labia minora any time soon, but the other problems should be addressed – yay for more drugs!
It seems weird that this contraceptive pill might clear up the problems I’ve been suffering with for years, such a small thing can make the biggest difference … I shall report back and let you all know how it goes!
Perhaps taking this every day will help me remember my other meds???

Disappeared Quicker Than a Fat Man At a Salad Bar …

Blah blah blah blah – Just filling in space here so that this is posted in the update on Facebook and not the whole body of the post. Else some people who don’t read it wont get annoyed at reading the gruesome personal stuff!

Blah blah blah blah!

So my period started and then disappeared after just over 36hrs … WTF!!! 😦

I don’t ask for much – Just a normal functioning body! One that sticks to a nice regime and ovulation cycle!

Oh, FYI – I have my scan booked in – 20th July!!! AGES AWAY! Boo

I’ve had major munchies today as well … toast and jam, 2 packets of crisps, handful of marshmallows, yoghurt, banana AND a calorific Rustlers burger for lunch 😦 FML.