Love Doesn’t Sit There, Like A Stone, It Has To Be Made, Like Bread: Re-made All The Time, Made New.

Love is ….

Love is... #72

forgiving even if you are really angry.


So I’ve had an odd weekend, I won’t bore you with details of work (although it was heinously busy!)

It’s now Sunday evening and I’ve finally synced up my external HDD to my laptop and iTunes.  I can finally listen to all my music, I’m currently listening to “Back to Bedlam” by James Blunt. Perhaps one of the most beautiful albums of the last 10 years (IMHO)

I am actually listening to the lyrics today as well, they are heartbreaking, poignant, eloquent, full of love and understanding and they got me thinking …

I wonder how many of us have thrown away something good, something special because of either our youth, idiocy, shortsightedness, arrogance or even because of our anger? I can easily put my hand up to this. Now’s not the time to explain as it’s not the focus of my post though …

I’ve had a couple of chats this weekend with four different friends, the topic for all of them was their relationship. Skirting around the issues so that these people don’t feel embarrassed or “singled out” what really gets my goat and angers me if the way that we seem to take our partners for granted and sometimes we don’t cherish them or treat them with the respect they deserve.

“We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, and hour, an afternoon. But that doesn’t diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.”
– Unknown 

I don’t really know what the point of this post is, but I’m such a romantic at heart. I believe in soulmates, I believe in love, happiness and marriage.

I believe true love never dies, it changes, of course it does, true love is all consuming and powerful. It’s the moment you first kiss, the moment you cry together, the moment you make love and not just have sex.

It’s the holding of hands, the cuddling at night, the wiping away of tears and the comforting during the bad times.

It’s the laughing at each others bad jokes, it’s finishing each others sentences, it’s those little looks you give each other whilst secretly knowing what that other person is thinking.

It’s the sharing memories, it’s the sharing of experiences and it’s the opening up and sharing your fears, dreams and desires.

Over the years it may change, the all consuming sexual desire may fade slightly, but what have you gained? You’ve gained a best  friend, a rock, a person who knows everything about you and will always be there for you regardless of plans. They won’t cancel on you and if they do, you know it’s for the most legitimate of reasons. They know every inch of your body and they love you for YOU. You don’t have to pimp and preen yourself everyday to gain their attention – you already have it. They have your heart and your ear.

Respect is something we all take for granted and hope to show others, but sometimes, just sometimes, we hurt the ones we love the most by not showing them the respect that we would like to be shown ourselves.

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.”
– Unknown 


A Wistful Smile

Today has been “one of those days” …. I woke up super excited as ADWD had downloaded to my iPad overnight but within a few minutes I became dejected, today is the 2 year anniversary of the worst day of my life, the day my role model, my mentor, my surrogate mum and my favourite person left me.

I know some people will be thinking “surely John is your favourite person” but it’s fair to say my nanny was my favourite person. Always there for me, always picking up the pieces, drying my tears and offering me support in the parental role I so desperately missed.

Every person has their vices, and I’m not naive enough to think that my nanny was perfect, far from it. Nan could be stubborn and moody just like the rest of us, but she felt perfect to me.

I had a post on here last month I think talking about my nanny so I won’t be morbid or down for too long, suffice to say that I will always remember her, always miss her and always use her as a “guide”.

I often think WWND? (What Would Nanny Do) when tackling difficult problems, it helps assess though situations where I would normally disappear into a tizz and cry!!

I intend to make an apple crumble in the next few days, have a large dollop of ice cream and pay homage to my dearly missed and loved nanny the way she would like – with a smile and a laugh at the good times.

I cried and cried when I was told she was gone, but looking back, when she took her last breath she was laughing and smiling with family and a cup of tea in her hand, it was painless and over in seconds – what an amazing way to leave this plane of existence. With love and family, that’s amazing and I’m slowly starting to accept this.

Grandad is still with us, and I regret not seeing him enough but as I’ve got older my spare time seems to have shrunk!

Enough of the morbidness (is that a word?)

My iPad 2 broke today, the home button became unresponsive. To say I was miffed is an understatement. I love my iPad and have crowed and crowed over it for the last 10 days – stupid Apple!

I phoned the local Apple Store, I say local, it’s 40 minutes away. They booked me in with the “genius bar” and I went over.

The customer service was second to none – Within 15 minutes I had a brand new iPad 2 with a fresh 12 month  warranty – apparently the issue I had was a known hardware problem.

Just re-synced everything up and it all appears to be working A-OK soooooooo …. grump over!