I should apologise again. I’ve not written anything for a couple of weeks. Blog, book, short stories or otherwise …
Can I blame it on the lovely weather?
Ok, I’m just useless.
Since I last posted I’ve been poorly, shattered, bogged down with work, hot, bothered, uninspired and then suddenly inspired and excited again. Probably in that order as well.
I’ve finished a 60pt module with the OU – AA100 is officially finished. I find out my results in August – but I’m pretty confident I’ve passed. I only need 40% overall, and I’ve been averaging 80% on the TMAs – so unless I’ve completely dropped the ball on the EMA; it’s in the bag.
Looking ahead: I start Ancient Greek in October A275 – a very in-depth and difficult module. Bearing that in mind, I’ve submitted a flexible working request in to the boss. I want every Monday off work to study, and I’ve increased my remaining working days to 4 x 10hr shifts so that I don’t drop any hours or lose money. Fingers crossed they (the faceless automatons in HR) accept it …
It would help being in the office a little less as well. I’ve felt very undervalued and despondent recently. It’s a long story, and nothing to do with the people I work with … more to do with the management and new supervision. I’m finding it difficult to explain, but it’s similar to water torture. Drip. Drip. Drip … bit by bit, little digs, little comments, little changes. And on their own it’s nothing and seems pretty ridiculous – put it together and BAM!!! Drowning. This has then fed on to my writing.
I’ve hit a bit of a downer with it. The usual “what’s the point?” “I’m rubbish” “This is garbage” and so on has flooded me and I’ve struggled to write even 1000 words. I’ve got a few projects on the go – but nothing is inspiring me at the moment.
Yes, I sound like I’m whining, and I suppose I am. But I’ve just hit that point again where it doesn’t matter what anyone says, unless I feel the confidence myself, I’ll just wallow. Like a hippo.
But, I am slowly creeping out of my warm muddy water bath; and a good email chat tonight with another writer about possible collaborations and ideas has left me feeling all warm and mushy again. The little voice of optimism whispered to me: “if this talented writer is talking of collaborating, you can’t be that bad.”